I came across this disturbing article today about a 2-month old baby who was found floating in a lake in Brazil after having been wrapped up in a plastic bag and apparently discarded by her parents. Moral outrage among Americans will surely ensue, though with late-term and partial-birth abortions of viable fetuses still legal in many states as a form of disposing of unwanted children, I think we should probably take this opportunity to take a look at ourselves as well.
CNN.com: Baby found floating in bag in lake
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Yesterday a U.S. drone bombed a Pakistani village with the intent of killing Al Quaida's number 2 man, Ayman al-Zawahri. Instead of hitting our target, however, we managed to kill 18 civilians, and if you watch the news reports, at least one cow. Imagine if some wanted terrorist were hiding in your hometown, and Pakistan decided to bomb it hoping to take him out, killing your wife and children. If that's not enough to create a militant soldier with the sole intent of destroying the country whose policy is to bomb first, ask questions later, then I don't know what is.
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You're hearing it everywhere: Happy Holidays, Happy Hanukkah, Happy Kwanzaa. At first, these phrases seem quite innocuous, but underneath them lies a dangerous subtext: America's ongoing War on Merry. The PC Police are at it again, this time targeting one of the English language's most beloved words. Slowly but surely, the word "merry" is being stripped from our vernacular. Today it's "happy holidays," but what will tomorrow bring? Go on your happy way? Happy-go-round? And what will happen to the children if this sick trend continues? Will they never know the joy, or dare I say "merriness," that the word "merry" has brought to so many generations before them? If you don't believe the seriousness of this issue, just look at what this country's homosexual agenda has done to the word "gay." So join me in the struggle to keep merry from being fagified by the left-wing liberal media. Let's put the "merry" back in meaningless, holiday-related semantic jestures!
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I was quite dismayed yesterday to find out about the new film Chapter 27 which is currently in production. The film portrays the jerk of all jerks in the days leading up to John Lennon's assassination. The title alludes to the 26-chapter novel Catcher in the Rye (ironically one of my favorite novels) which Lennon's killer used to explain his motivations for the murder (with the 27th chapter being the final, unwritten chapter sealed by the killer's actions). Typically the outrage over the event of John Lennon's murder runs so deep that his fans almost always refrain from even mentioning his murderer's name (as I have done in this article), especially because of the killer's desire for fame, so I'm sure the making of this film will cause some controversy among those who care the most about Lennon's life and career. While it's true that we can never deny the senseless murder of John Lennon, is it too much to ask that filmmakers at least refrain from putting his killer in the spotlight?
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Scott Stevens, a former TV weatherman, appeared on Lou Dobbs tonight with a very interesting theory: hurricanes Katrina and Rita were not natural disasters, but quite unnatural. For, you see, the storms didn't just happen. They were created by, here it comes: terrorists. Yes, terrorists. On his web site Weather Wars, Stevens tells how the Japanese mafia group Yazuka teamed up with the Russian government in the early 1990's to develop a weapon which can create catastrophes such as earthquakes, hurricanes, and volcanic eruptions. This guy is either a conspiracy theorist nut that would put even Oliver Stone to shame, or he's the prophet we'll all wish we listened to when we're pulling the tornado-torn, lava-laden Empire State Building out of the giant canyon. You know, kind of like that crazy guy that annoys you at the mall with the religious tracts.
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 There's a battle raging among local TV stations these days. Over what, you ask? Is the conflict over whose news is the most timely, the most accurate, or the most important to the station's viewers? No, none of the above. It's about whose Doppler radar weather system has the biggest number at the end. The local station WNDU-TV in South Bend, IN has Super Doppler 16, with the number seemingly corresponding to the station's being channel 16 on the dial. Okay, so that makes some sense. WFSB in Hartford, CT, however, boasts a Doppler 3000 system which, while not super, does have a bigger number at the end. Finally, not to be outdone, is Charleston, SC's own (drumroll please) Super Doppler 5000! Yes, folks, that's 2000 more than WFSB's antiquated weather technology. Seriously, though, what do these numbers mean? I remember back in the 1980's and 90's when everything was "Something 2000," alluding to the next millennium to make a product sound futuristic. Of course, many of the companies and products (such as Gateway 2000) dropped that nomenclature once the year 2000 rolled around. Five-thousand, though, makes no sense to me. Are they claiming that they're actually 3000 years ahead of their competition? Will this numbers battle escalate into an all-out war? Will it reach a point where the numerical suffixes must be given in scientific notation? Or perhaps one day the whole conflict will end like arguments did in kindergarten: "Oh yeah, well I have Super-duper Doppler Infinity!" Only time will tell.
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